It’s been a tough month and today’s rally certainly felt good. It’s important to keep our sense of humor though so here’s a little satire from Iowahawk who has produced some of the best satire on the internet over the last few years. Today’s edition concentrates on the stock market:
NEW YORK – Major stock indexes posted broad gains on heavy trading early Tuesday on news that a rogue group of student protesters from New York University had taken over the White House and barricaded themselves in the Oval Office. The Dow posted a 1100 point (17%) gain in the first hour of trading, wiping out nearly all of its loss since January 20 and almost 35% of losses since November 4.
“Finally, we’re seeing encouraging signs of sanity in Washington,” said UBS market analyst Jane Cohen.
The market rally lifted issues across the board, with 87% of stocks showing gains. Market leaders included Apple ($116.05, +32%), Amalgamated Pachouli & Incense ($23.15, +53%), Keffiya Mart ($17.66, +49%), and Bongs.com ($41.10, +72%). The short list of losers included student loan guarantor Sallie Mae ($1.78, -78%) and General Deodorant ($0.83, -96%).
Read the whole thing. It’s hilarious.